Isn't It About Friendship?

When you look at other couples that you feel are “happy,” what stands out to you?  When I think of the couples I consider to be happy, they seem like they are best friends.  They seem to genuinely enjoy being around each other, and they have fun together.    

When you started dating your spouse, was it a love connection right at first?  My guess would be probably not.  I think most marriages start out as friendships, and the relationship grows stronger from there.  

There may be times in our marriage where we may feel like we are more like business partners than friends.  How does this happen?  I think we get so focused on the things we need to do in our lives, that we forget why we married each other in the first place.  It is important for us to remember that we were friends first.  

Marriage therapist/researcher Dr. John Gottman has found:  “In successful marriages husbands and wives are best friends.”

Week #5 Challenge

• Do something fun with your spouse this week.  This will remind you that you aren’t just partners, you are friends.
• If you are not currently married, make a list of attributes you would like in a best friend.  Look for these attributes in those you date.  You can also work to develop some of these characteristics in your own life.