A House of Order

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Today I went to the Ogden, Utah Temple. I love the power that comes when I have the opportunity to go to the Temple.  As I was thinking about my goal to create my own "house of order," I thought of how the earth was created.  In Genesis we read about the Creation.  Today I noticed how everything was organized.  Each day of the Creation had something specific that needed to be done.  

As I work toward having an orderly home, it is important that I take the time to prioritize weekly tasks.  I often get sidetracked, but seeing the Creation in this new light helped me recognize how important it is for me to decide what needs to be done and focus on that, until it is finished.  Following this pattern will help us reach our goal.  I am grateful for the guidance and inspiration that comes when I attend the Temple.  I know I am not alone on my journey toward establishing our own "house of order," and our own "house of God."  (D&C 88:119)

 

Monday, May 15, 2017

A House of Order

When I was younger, my Dad was constantly challenging us to memorize.  Whether it was a scripture, poem, the Books in the Book of Mormon, or the order number of the Latter-Day Prophets, he was constantly challenging us to learn the gospel in memorable ways.  To teach us the order number of the Latter-Day Prophets, he would randomly call out a number.  He would give us about two seconds to answer.  If we got the number wrong he would often say, "Did you see that $50 bill flying out the window?  It would have been yours had you guessed the right Prophet!"  If we got it right, he would pat us on the back, and give us a quarter, or tell us we earned our lunch money for the day.  As you can imagine, my Dad loved to tease!  I have many happy memories that I will forever cherish as a child.

One particular scripture I remember my Dad challenging us to memorize is: D&C 88:119:
"Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;"

It has been a goal of mine to establish such a house like this.  Today I listened to a talk that has been helpful along my journey.  I love how we are encouraged to pattern our homes after the Temple.  Establishing a "House of Order" is definitely a journey.  This talk has helped put into perspective the best place to start!

"Standing in Holy Places" by President James E. Faust




Saturday, December 10, 2016

Isn't It About Provident Living?

One of the major causes of contention in marriages is over money.  “For the love of money is the root of all evil..” (1 Timothy 6:10).  We definitely need money to provide the basics, in order to survive.  However, if we do not keep our priorities in order, “the love of money” can consume our lives.

We often hear about Ebenezer Scrooge this time of year.  At the beginning of, “A Christmas Carol,” Mr. Scrooge is an unhappy selfish man.  After being visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past, Present, and Future, Scrooge realizes that his greed will not bring him happiness.  He learns that money will not bring him everlasting happiness.  He eventually  finds joy in sharing what he has with others.

Marriage comes with so many different adjustments.  Money definitely complicates the marriage relationship.  When two people come together from very different backgrounds and views on money, this can be a source of contention.  

President N. Eldon Tanner, former First Counselor in the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints taught:  “I am convinced that it is not the amount of money an individual earns that brings peace of mind as much as it is having control of his money.  Money can be an obedient servant, but a harsh taskmaster.”  (“Constancy and Change,” Ensign, June 1982)  

As we work together in marriage on our finances, we will find the peace that comes from wisely using the resources the Lord has blessed us with.  

Week #13 Challenge

Set aside time this week to set a long-term financial goal with your spouse.  What steps do you need to take to accomplish this goal?  If you are single set a long-term financial goal that will help secure your financial future.   

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Isn't It About Working Together?

One of my favorite stories is told by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf.  In the chapel of the church where he attended, a group of men were asked to move a grand piano.  They tried with great difficulty to move this piano, but nothing seemed to work.  Finally one of the men spoke up and said, “...stand close together and lift where you stand.”  As the men stood together and each lifted the piano, they were able to move the piano to where it needed to be.


Marriage requires a lot of “lifting where we stand.”  For a marriage to be successful, we need to do our part to work together.  My husband and I own a painting business.  In 2007 when the economy took a downturn, our business wasn’t doing well at all.  We found ourselves with many bills to pay and hardly any income.  This was a difficult time for us.  We struggled and sadly didn’t get along very well during this time.  It wasn’t until we both started working together that we were able to overcome this difficult struggle.  We were blessed as we worked together.  Things did not change right away, but we became closer as we did our best to work together.   This was a growing time for us and our relationship was strengthened as we learned to “stand close together and lift where [we] stand.”

Week # 12 Challenge
With the new year coming up, decide on a goal that will help you become more unified with your spouse. If you are not married decide on a goal that you can work on in the upcoming year that will help prepare you for marriage.

Friday, November 25, 2016

Isn't It About Putting Each Other First?



I would like each of us to take a minute and think about what we did today.  I am sure most of us have days that are filled with work, children, friends, errands, projects that need finishing, and homework that needs to be done.  With twenty-four hours in a day, you would think it would be enough time to fit everything in.  If you are anything like me, there is always something (a lot of somethings in my case) that are left undone.  

As we think about what we have accomplished in our day, do we feel we gave the attention we needed to to the most important things in our lives?  Former General Relief Society President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Sister Julie B. Beck taught:  “When our priorities are out of order, we lose power.”  When my days start to feel crazy, and I am feeling overwhelmed I think of her inspiring words.  I often get distracted and forget the reason why I am really here.  I am grateful to be a wife and mother, but do the things I do each day reflect that this is my number one priority?

Brent A. Barlow councils us:  “A husband needs to spend time with his wife.  The two need to have time together to share ideas, to grow and learn together, and to experience joy together.  A wife is not going to be too excited about a husband who spends all his time at work, at church meetings, in hobbies that exclude her, or in front of the television or newspaper.  A husband who always spends time in ways that exclude his wife communicates to her that she is not very important.  Yet his wife should be the most important person in his life.”  The same is also true of wives.  We need to make sure our husbands come first as well!

As we put each other first in our marriage, we will find happiness.  We will be given the strength we need to meet our daily challenges, and find joy in our marriage relationships.

Week #11 Challenge

Make a conscious effort this week to put the needs of your spouse before your own.  If you are not married, think of ways you can become more selfless.  Write down qualities you feel are necessary in a relationship.  

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Isn't It About More?


What does marriage mean to you?  This answer will definitely vary from person to person.  What marriage means to one couple, will be different for another.  

When my husband and I were first married, my view on marriage was definitely not what it is today.  I could not imagine loving my husband more than I did the day we married.  Fortunately, my love for my husband has grown stronger.  We have had many happy times, but it is through the difficult times, I have found that we have become closer.

About five years ago I started having health problems.  We went to doctor after doctor trying to figure out what was going on.  This was a very frustrating time for me!  We were not getting any answers, and I was sick and tired of going to appointments and not getting any closer to figuring out what was wrong.  There were so many days that I would vow never to go to another doctor again.  My husband would not let me give up.  He was always right there to encourage and take care of me.

After about a year and a half, we found out that I had a hole in my heart.  We were so grateful we finally found the reason for my health issues.  I had surgery, and started feeling better right away.  

Looking back, there are days I wonder how we made it through this time.  It doesn’t take long before I realize, it was because of my husband.  He was strong when I wasn’t.  He was right there to support and encourage me when I wanted to give up.  

Marriage has it’s ups and downs.  Life is not perfect, as we all know.  Marriage isn’t about just the happy joyous times, it’s about so so so much more!

Week #10 Challenge

Write a note of appreciation to your spouse, thanking him or her for a specific time when they were supportive of you.  If you are not married, write a note of appreciation to someone in your life who has helped you through a difficult time.  

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Isn't It About Forgiveness?


I included one of my favorite stories from a New Era from January of 1996.  My mom told it to us often in our home.  I am not sure if including it is child nostalgia on my part, or if trying to summarize the story would not do it justice:

Pockets Full of Rocks
By Larry R. Hiller

Malcolm Tent was still a young man when he began putting rocks in his pockets. It started one day when his boss, Mr. Gump, got angry at him for something that wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t yell back at his boss, because he might get fired. In fact, there wasn’t anything he could do except be angry inside. “But,” he thought, “I’m not going to forget this. No way.”

On the way home from the bus stop that night, he thought to himself, “I’ve got to remember how angry I am. I don’t want to forget this in the morning.” Suddenly he had an idea. There was a small rock on the sidewalk in front of him. He picked it up and said softly to himself, “I’ll keep this rock in my pocket to remind me of how unfair Mr. Gump was.”

And that’s what he did. That night he put the rock on his dresser with his keys and his comb. The next morning, when he got dressed to go to work, into his pocket went the ugly gray rock.

All that day and the next, the heavy bulge in his pocket reminded him that he should be angry at Mr. Gump. Strangely, Mr. Gump seemed to have forgotten about the whole thing. But not Malcolm Tent. Oh no. In fact, during the next two weeks, Mr. Gump made Malcolm angry several more times, and Malcolm decided he’d better get a rock for each time so he could keep better track of these things.

And so it was that Malcolm Tent’s trousers began to look baggy and strange. But at least he remembered not to forgive Mr. Gump or be friendly or anything like that.

Maybe if Malcolm had only collected rocks when he got angry at old Gump, this thing might have died out and been forgotten. But there was the taxi driver who drove right by and left Malcolm standing in the rain. Into his pocket went a shiny, rain-slick pebble from the gutter. (Of course, Malcolm had no idea of the taxi driver’s name, but it didn’t matter.) Then there was the grocery clerk who short-changed him. And the newspaper delivery boy who threw his paper into the lawn sprinkler. And the neighbor whose dog barked late at night. And … well, Malcolm discovered that there were all kinds of people and things in the world that can bother you.

Speaking of discoveries, Malcolm also discovered that when all of your pockets are full of rocks, a plain old belt won’t hold up your pants. (He discovered that fact while his arms were full of grocery sacks.) So he made himself a sturdy pair of leather suspenders to help hold up his pants.

But soon the time came when he didn’t have enough pockets in his pants, so he had to wear a jacket everywhere he went—the kind of jacket with lots of pockets. And it wasn’t long before the jacket looked as funny as his trousers. And smelled just as dusty. And got even heavier because it had more pockets.

Anyone else might have given up at this point, but not Malcolm. He bought one of those big sturdy briefcases like salesmen use. After all, when you start to look for them, there are all kinds of things in life that can bother you. And when you are always tired from lugging so many rocks around, you get angry even easier.

Years went by, and Malcolm’s collection of reminder rocks spilled out of his pockets and briefcase and all over his house. He had rocks on the kitchen sink, and in his closets, and all over the floors. A few times he even put a rock in his bed so he could remember to be angry during the night. Let’s face it. Malcolm had become a strange, unpleasant man. And most people avoided him when they could, which made him even touchier. Rocks are not very good company. They are hard and dusty, and in the winter they are very cold.

Now, Malcolm might have gone on to become a mean old man completely buried in rocks. But one day he received a phone call from a geology professor at the university. Dr. Igneous had heard of Malcolm’s large rock collection (who hadn’t?), and he wanted to bring his geology class on a field trip to see it.

“Well,” thought Malcolm, “at last here is someone who appreciates my rocks. Wait until they see all of these reminders of how often people have wronged me.” An appointment was made for the next Saturday, and Malcolm spent the next few evenings dusting and arranging.

At last Saturday came, and at two o’clock in the afternoon the doorbell rang. There, on the porch, stood Professor Igneous and seven of his best students, all dressed in their best field-trip outdoor clothing. Several had rock hammers dangling from their belts, and one or two carried cameras. And everyone carried a notebook and pencil. Professor Igneous himself looked rather ordinary. But he had a ready smile. And his face was deeply tanned from spending years out of doors. As a matter of fact, there was something about his eyes, too. They looked deep and dark, but they had a sparkle that said he enjoyed life. And when he looked at you, it was the same look he gave mountains and rock formations—as though he were trying to peer inside. This was a scientist who liked people at least as much as he liked rocks.

As the professor and students stepped into the rock-filled living room, Malcolm expected to hear oohs and aahs. You know, like you hear at a fireworks show. Instead, there was an uncomfortable silence. The group just stood there looking around, nudging a few of the rocks with their toes. Then the students looked at their professor, waiting for him to say something. After all, this was not the collection of beautiful gems and minerals they had expected. These were ordinary hunks of limestone and sandstone and quartzite. Why, there were even chunks of broken asphalt and concrete!

Finally, Professor Igneous spoke: “Ahem,” he cleared his throat. “Perhaps you would be so good as to explain your collection to us, Mr. Tent. I can honestly say we’ve never seen another collection quite like it.” In the background, his students nodded in agreement.

“Well,” Malcolm began nervously, “I, uh, well … that is …” It had been a long time since he had said much of anything to anyone.

Professor Igneous could see how nervous Malcolm was. The poor man kept swallowing so hard his Adam’s apple was bobbing up and down. (Some of the students thought he was trying to swallow one of his rocks.)

Trying to help, the professor said, “Why not begin by telling us why you chose these rocks.” He picked up an ordinary gray rock that looked like most of the others. “Why did you choose this particular piece of limestone for your collection?”

“Oh, is that what it is?” Well, I think that’s the one I picked up when the laundry didn’t have my shirts ready on time. Wait! No, I think that’s for the time my favorite TV show got canceled. Or was it the time I ran inside to answer the phone, and the caller had the wrong number? Or …” Here he paused to search his memory. There were so many rocks! And they were so much alike—gray, hard, cold, dusty. Suddenly, Malcolm realized that that was all Professor Igneous and his students could see. To everyone else these were just plain old everyday rocks. Malcolm had to explain, to make them see.

“There’s more to these rocks than you might think. Every one of these rocks represents a time somebody made me mad or hurt my feelings. I picked up these rocks as reminders.”

Now the professor and his students were really amazed. They all began to speak at once: “I never heard of such a thing.” “How long have you been doing this?” “Can I take a picture of you with your rocks?” “Some field trip!”

Professor Igneous spoke again, and everyone became quiet. “Well, Mr. Tent,” he began slowly, “I must admit you’re the first person I ever met who collected rocks for that reason.” He paused and looked around. “You’ve been very kind to invite us into your home. And we don’t want to take up too much of your time. But do you suppose that while we are here we might see your other collection?”

A blank look came over Malcolm’s face. “I don’t have any other collection.”

“Oh, I see. I just thought you might have collected something to remind you of the nice things people have done and said. But, well, never mind. Perhaps we ought to be going now. Thank you so much for allowing us to come into your home. I think my students have learned something important.”

He gathered his students around him, and they moved toward the door. Then, turning to Malcolm once more the professor said, “We still have some time left this afternoon. Could you perhaps direct us to some of the other people with similar collections?”

Once more Malcolm was caught off balance. “I don’t know of any other collections like mine.”

“Oh. I just thought that perhaps some of the people you know would have collected something when you … I mean … if you ever … uh … annoyed them.” Then, quickly, he added, “Yes, well, good-bye, and thanks again.”

Without waiting, the professor and his students turned and marched off down the sidewalk.

Long after they were gone, Malcolm stood there, looking just like one of his rocks—cold and gray and very still. Within him, the professor’s words echoed. Around him, the house was silent. Too silent. He suddenly realized how pleasant the students’ friendly chatter had been. How long since he had had a friendly talk with anyone? Come to think of it, did he even have any friends anymore?

Then, before he could stop it, the thought came into his mind: “I’m becoming just like my rocks.” As Malcolm sat alone in the dark, he finally realized what unpleasant companions rocks are. And how unpleasant he … Well, some thoughts are hard enough to think without actually saying them.

For several days, for hours at a time, Malcolm sat still as a rock, thinking rock-hard thoughts. You might have thought he had finally become petrified. But deep inside him, something was waking up and beginning to grow, like a seed in the spring soil.

If you think it’s hard to find a home for kittens or gerbils or such, you should try finding someone who wants a bunch of very ordinary, dusty, gray rocks. In fact, just try gathering them up when they are scattered all over. Malcolm tried to hire cleaning ladies. They all told him the same thing: “I don’t do windows, and I don’t pick up rocks!” A “Free Rocks” sign in his window brought no results. Finally he realized that this was something he would have to do himself.

The neighbors still talk about the time Malcolm backed a rented trailer up to his front porch, and about the tremendous cloud of dust that rose as the rocks flew out into the trailer. They also talk about how much better Malcolm looks, how his clothes fit so much better (has he lost weight?), and how he actually smiles now.

Malcolm’s neighbors also point with pride to his attractive yard, with trees and flowers and bushes planted everywhere. They don’t have any explanation for his sudden interest in gardening. But one neighbor, Mrs. Kratz, did notice that after she had taken a piece of cake to him, Malcolm went out to the flower bed and planted a single seed.

Week #9 Challenge

At the end of each day, for seven days, write down the positive things your spouse did for you.  If you are not married, notice the kind things those around you do for you each day and write them down.